LIFE IN CHERIBAA (CONTINUED)

I eventually discovered that Ms. Edith had a son who was about ten years old, and since she was twenty eight at the time when I first met her, he must have been conceived when she was only eighteen. Although life in Ghana is economically challenging, the people are very communal. They share food, water, money, and if a pregnancy occurs. The family in its entirety coalesce to support the mother and the child. He lived with his grandparents; was in attendance at an elementary school; and was sent home by his teachers. Because he didn’t have the money to pay his school fees. I gave her the money that was needed, so that he could continue his education. I noticed that he wore a uniform, a distinctly British custom, that was well established in Ghana during the colonial era. My laundry, apartment cleaning, cooking, and shopping were all done by Ms. Edith, and I paid her a weekly salary of 50.00 GHS for her work. The average remuneration within that area at the time was approximately 100.00 GHS monthly. When one of her neighbors discovered how much she was being paid, he accused me of paying her too much. I later discovered that he was being paid the same amount for considerably more difficult work, at a lumber yard. During the months from November to April there was a dry spell. Ghanaians refer to it as a drought (Harmatan). Really and truly there was rainfall, but not in the copious quantities, as occur between the months of May to November. During the dry spell women would travel to other wells that were less frequently used to obtain water. Which they would carry in large volumes in a huge aluminum basin on their head. This pilgrimage was a daily routine for as long as the drought lasted. I purchased all the food, paid the electricity bill, bought all the drinking water, and provided money to purchase the cooking gas. I also paid the rent, punctually. From all appearances Ms. Edith was unaccustomed to seeing things run so smoothly, financially. I also presented her with a brand new, up to date, Samsung Galaxy phone. Since she desperately needed a calling device. Although she had a lover who visited her frequently; to whom I spoke every time that he came to the property; and in fact I regarded him as a friend. In spite of all of the foregoing, Ms. Edith started proposing marriage to me. Although she was an excellent housekeeper, good cook, with other outstanding domestic skills. I gave her absolutely no encouragement. For many reasons. First she was not a member of my own religious faith. We are warned in scripture against participating in such unions, “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will dwell in them
And walk among them. I will be their God, And they shall be My people.” 2 Corinthians 6:14-16. (NKJV), Second, she wore ornaments, a practice forbidden among women in my church. As we are instructed in scripture, “‘Go up to a land flowing with milk and honey; for I will not go up in your midst, lest I consume you on the way, for you are a stiff-necked people. And when the people heard this bad news, they mourned, and no one put on his ornaments. For the Lord had said to Moses, Say to the children of Israel, ‘You are a stiff-necked people. I could come up into your midst in one moment and consume you. Now therefore, take off your ornaments, that I may know what to do to you.’ So the children of Israel stripped themselves of their ornaments by Mount Horeb.” Exodus 33:3-6. (NKJV). Third, from all appearances she had a lover. Although she remonstrated to me repeatedly, in the presence of witnesses, that they were only friends. A contention that I took with a very large grain of salt. Marriages in Ghana could be very private and simple, or large and ostentatious. A simple wedding was usually conducted in a house. With a few friends and close family members in attendance. Accompanied by food and drinks or a formal dinner. No minister or marriage officer would be present and no formal marriage documents were signed. Nor was there any exchange of vows. But to both families represented and the community at large a valid marriage had occurred. Thereafter, the couple was regarded as authentically one. Moreover, the relationship was respected as such by all. A Ghanaian church wedding was typical of most other weddings performed in a Christian church, in other countries. A minister presided, vows were exchanged and legal documents were signed. There can be no casual divorce from such a wedding without accompanying penalties. For that very reason most people in Ghana prefer a house wedding. I had a friend in Brenyekwa, that was married to a very attractive woman. They had both participated in a traditional wedding and were both Moslems. He worked as an Iron Monger and she worked as a seamstress. They seemed to be a happy couple, when I first met them in 2014. But when I visited them in 2019, I discovered that they were divorced. They had two beautiful children which were in the custody of the mother. Their father still supported them but he had also acquired a new and very plump wife. His brother was a Christian and also a friend of mine. I asked him the reason for the divorce? He explained that his brother’s X wife was extremely controlling and his brother just couldn’t live peaceably with her any longer. I understood. As a Mohammedan all he did was look his wife in the face and announce, “I divorce you; I divorce you; I divorce you.” Thereafter, according to Moslem custom, the marriage was permanently dissolved.

(TO BE CONTINUED)