WAS THIS JUST ANOTHER GHANAIAN ROMANCE SCAM?

There is a large market in the Town of Berekum, and within that market are many agricultural products. However, Chinese wares, cosmetics, clothing, hardware, kitchen utensils, and footwear are also sold at different locations. There are also many trading women within that area. During one trip to the market, I ran into a pretty girl sitting behind her mother’s stall. I liked how she looked. Therefore, I ventured to place a gentle pinch on her arm, which she seemed to appreciate. Afterward, we started a friendship, exchanged pics, and conversed frequently. One day, while I was at the market, I saw her sitting in the same place, approached her mother, and said, “I think your daughter is very beautiful,” and gave her 100.00 GHS. Her mother thanked me profusely and accepted the money. Her daughter was mostly away at college, so I rarely saw her. But whenever we met, I would kiss her hand, exclaiming, “My beautiful and gorgeous princess.” An affectionate gesture which she didn’t seem to mind. Eventually, while we discussed our plans for the future, Mary demanded that I give her an iPhone. I didn’t think that was unreasonable, but I was reluctant. Because I knew that exploitative and unscrupulous Ghanaian girls routinely demanded expensive gifts from their admirers. Usually, such girls were already married or in other long-term relationships.

I didn’t see her often since she pursued her studies at a Teacher’s college. We never got closer than a certain posture, which she used to command my attention whenever we met in the market, and she wasn’t sitting in her usual place. Seeing her standing, however, was not only a revelation of her phenomenal beauty. It evoked from me words of praise for her appearance and money. Such encounters were rare since she was away most of the time. Initially, she called me often, and we talked about her career goals and my plans to open a church and a school in Ghana. That kind of talk interested her greatly, but I wanted to know about her homemaking skills. From personal experience, I knew that I was happiest in a clean, attractive, and well-organized home. In a previous marriage, I was sometimes afraid to venture into my own house because my X wife just didn’t have the ability, inclination, or motivation to create that kind of environment. I blamed myself for such a state of affairs and determined not to repeat the same mistake. My girlfriend always claimed to be an excellent homemaker and repeatedly accused me of wanting to marry a maid. Maybe she was right. I’ve learned over the years from painful experiences that excellent housekeeping skills and beautiful women usually don’t go together.

One of the most emotionally vexing experiences is the realization that having exactly everything we want is impossible. Accordingly, we are forced to settle for what we need. That’s one of the most important life lessons we must master. An exquisitely beautiful woman is always desirable, but excellent homemakers generally don’t possess such looks.

“If we aren’t careful, our children will come down with ‘affluenza,’ a disease that causes them to confuse wants and needs. We need to teach our children what my grandmother taught me: Think twice about spending money you don’t have on things you don’t need to impress people you don’t like anyway.” Michelle Singletary.

However, knowing the difference between your needs and wants depends on knowing yourself, which is one of the greatest challenges of life. Most people think they know themselves, but after they have made a choice, they spend many years living in misery with the choice that they have made. The Prince of Wales (Prince William) was in a courtship with Kate Middleton for eight years before they married on April 29, 2011. The marriage seems to be quite stable even after 13 years. When he traveled to Mesopotamia to find Rebecca, Eliezer returned to Canaan and delivered her to Isaac. As far as we know, the marriage was a success. Even though it only took a few moments for Abraham’s servant to decide in that regard because he was the recipient of divine guidance.

Divine guidance should always be sought in any decision we make, but even then, we should never rush into any kind of contract, not even marriage.

“I will bless the Lord who has given me counsel; My heart also instructs me in the night seasons. I have set the Lord always before me; Because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved.” Psalm 16: 7-8 (NKJV)

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.” James 1:5 (NKJV).

Even if you feel that The Spirit has given you the ‘Go ahead’ to marry a life partner. Observe that person carefully for at least a year or two before you make a final decision. Although The Holy Spirit can live with almost anyone, you can’t. That’s a piece of eternal truth I gleaned many years ago from a female friend.

(TO BE CONTINUED)