A few days after I arrived at this address, I saw the caretaker’s eldest son standing on the steps leading into his apartment with two of his schoolmates. He specifically complained to me that his school fees had not been paid, so he had to be absent from classes. I listened carefully and contemplated his assertions but left things as they were. About one month later, he complained that he needed a football and asked me to purchase one. Since I didn’t want to violate any boundaries or infringe on any cultural mores. I asked his mother if she would permit me to purchase a football for her son. She willingly gave me the go-ahead. Buying the football was one thing. I also had to acquire an air pump so that he could keep his new toy inflated at the correct volume and pressure. About four months later, he told me his bicycle was in disrepair and asked me to fix it. Once again, I spoke to his mother before doing anything. After obtaining her consent, I invited her son to accompany me to the repair shop with his bicycle. All the necessary repairs were effected, and after paying the total amount charged by the bike mechanic, we boarded a taxi and returned to Sofokyere.
Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22: 6 (NKJV)
After that act of charity towards their eldest son. I presume it seemed to him that I wasn’t adequately fulfilling the role. He had carved out in his childish mind for me with sufficient gusto. His biological father was rarely here, and his parent’s income was limited. Accordingly, he surmised I would make a fine surrogate father to care for his many wants. His parents were loving and attentive; he ate three meals daily and had sufficient clothes and shoes. But he always wanted more. Apparently, I wasn’t giving him enough. Therefore, he organized a plot with one of his friends to harass me by pounding on the metal gate protecting my rear porch. I was initially annoyed, but I asked his sister to summon him so I could counsel him. She did. As he sat on the couch in my hall, I cautioned him: “You need to be very careful. Because if you went to someone else’s property and started beating down their gate, they might be tempted to shoot you, and nothing would come out of it.” I formulated a more comprehensive picture of his psychological profile as time progressed. He was suffering from Pampered Child Syndrome.
Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him. Proverbs 22:15 (NKJV).
He was his parents’ first boy, and out of gratitude for his arrival. They probably showered him with more gifts and attention during his infancy than was wise. As time progressed in his early years, he became enamored with all the pampering he received and wanted it to be permanent. In his pubescent era, he has refused to move on emotionally. Still yearning to be showered with the same attention that was poured upon him during his toddler years. In December of 2023, I became poignantly aware of just how deep-seated and chronic his psychological problem was. Unfortunately, I lost my phone and gave his two sisters air time. I asked them to call my number regularly. I wanted to see if the person who found my phone would be honest enough to answer and return the lost property to the rightful owner. Their eldest brother was profoundly threatened by my gesture. Thrown into an emotional crisis because it seemed to him that other family members were getting more attention than was being lavished upon him.
Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death. Proverbs 19:18 (NKJV)
He came to the metal grill protecting my back porch and knocked on the gate. “How can I help you, sir?” That was my response. “Mr. James,” said he, “you gave my sisters a Christmas present, and you gave me nothing,” he complained. “What exactly was that present,” I questioned. “You gave them air time for their phones, and you didn’t give me any.” “I didn’t give your sisters any Christmas gift; I gave them work to do.” Taking on the air of a Roman Emperor and raising his voice to a high pitch, he demanded, “I want my Christmas present, Oooo!” He refused to understand the import of my words. He was blinded by his own inexplicable emotional needs. Deep inside, he felt he was still an infant and others were obligated to cater to his wants.
There, before me, was standing a potential monster in the making. His parents and siblings probably weren’t aware of it, but I saw it clearly. Then, I realized that acts of charity and compassion can sometimes become liabilities. Ghana is a poor country divided between the haves and the have-nots. Regrettably, people who receive gifts from their benefactors often conclude that they must always receive them, regardless of the circumstances. He just didn’t seem to understand that there had to be a relationship between the gift administered and the overwhelming need of the recipient.
(TO BE CONTINUED)
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