Providence arranged some encounters between my father and me in subsequent years, long after my childhood years had come and gone. In fact, how else can I see the time we spent together during my early 40’s? At the time, I owned a commercial property in Chicago. One of the units was a beauty salon. My so-called father expressed interest in managing that store on my behalf. Politely, I listened to what he was saying because I knew from personal recollection that he had considerable experience in that area of expertise. That, however, was all I did. His addiction to liquor, nicotine, Cocaine, Marijuana, and gambling was also hitting me in the face. “So I will punish them for their ways,
And reward them for their deeds. For they shall eat, but not have enough; They shall commit harlotry, but not increase;
Because they have ceased obeying the Lord.” Hosea 4: 9-11 (NKJV). How, then, could I trust him with any kind of financial responsibility? I would have to be insane to ignore his checkered history.
At least twice, we traveled from Michigan to Chicago in my automobile and then back again. He loved to brag about his sexual prowess. “There was a time,” he boasted, “when I was younger, all I had to do was look at a woman, and she would be impregnated. But those days are over since my vasectomy surgery,” He concluded. He subsequently asserted, “I received a medical examination recently, and the doctor asserted that I’m an extremely highly sexed man. Accordingly, he has mandated me to engage in sexual activity as often as I possibly can.” I believed him one hundred percent. I do recall spending some time in Spanish Town, Jamaica. At the time, I went there to visit my mother, who had never raised me. In fact, she didn’t even recognize me when I first met her in 1975. She came out of her house to greet me at her gate, and when we met, she asked, “Who is the person?” I replied, “My name is James, and my aunt, Mrs. James (my mother’s sister), suggested I come here to meet you. My mother then opened her gate and called out the rest of her children to come and introduce themselves to their eldest brother and her firstborn.
After this epochal event, I visited with my father at his home in Spanish Town. I had a car at my disposal, and we drove around the City. Wherever we went, my late father was enthusiastically and affectionately greeted by a beautiful young woman, and none of them was pregnant. Therefore, I knew that his promiscuous career was continuing unabated, without leaving any baggage behind for other people to handle. When I first went to his house in Spanish Town, I was immediately recognized by my progenitor, and he greeted me by exclaiming, “My son, my son!” The tables had turned. I was a young and prosperous adult. He was in his 60’s, but he looked twenty years younger. Probably because he had never done a day’s work in his life. Now he wanted me to play daddy to him. But when I remembered his neglect of me, along with his rejection and aloofness towards me as a child, I just didn’t have the stomach for such a game. “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.” Galatians 6:7-8 (NKJV)
While visiting the Parish of Saint Ann to become acquainted with my mother’s side of the family, I was initially accompanied by Ms. Sarah, my paternal grandmother’s sister, and my grandaunt. We ran into my paternal grandfather. A strange and intriguing character by any measure. Although he was well-dressed, he was stoic and aloof. Ms. Sarah told him who I was, but he just stood there like an obelisk. He barely looked at us, and after a few minutes had transpired, he ignored us completely. As the years rolled by, I learned the expression, “Like father, like son.” I had two children, a son and a daughter. They both ran into my father at my grandmother’s house. While chatting, I heard my father utter profanity. At that moment, I decided that my children’s grandfather could not have any closer contact with my offspring. I wouldn’t invite him to my house because I feared he would contaminate their speech and conduct. Nor did I want them to even think of emulating him. “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:8-9 (NKJV).
One weekday afternoon after returning to Berrien Springs, Michigan, from my work in Chicago, I stopped at my grandmother’s house on Mar’s Road. I went through the front door, and after crossing the porch, I ended up in her hall. She was seated on her sofa, and I asked her, “Momma, how are you doing today? “Actually, I’m dying,” was her reply. My heart sank. My father’s mother had been my protector, provider, Saviour, guardian angel, and educator. She was the fountain of my virtues and the wellspring of all my values. Now, I was about to lose her, and I was almost overwhelmed with grief. She was an irreplaceable pearl of great price. What would I do without her? Approximately three years previously, at the age of 87, she had been diagnosed with Cancer of the Ureter. I spoke to the physicians involved in her treatment plan, specifically, the doctor performing the surgical procedure. He assured me that all would be well. If I really believed him, then I would be gullible. After everything that they did, three years later, she was knocking at death’s door. Ultimately, she was admitted to The Berrien General Hospital for the final weeks of her life. When I took her there, I was suffering from an injured back and couldn’t help with any of the lifting. I will never forget the words of the attending nurse when I spoke with her about my grandmother’s diagnosis. “Brother James,” she said, “If you live long enough in this life, then something will come to take you out.”
Then I heard a voice from heaven saying to me, “Write: ‘Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on.’ ” “Yes,” says the Spirit, “that they may rest from their labors, and their works follow them.” Revelation 14:13 (NKJV)
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