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MY PATERNAL (BIOLOGICAL) FATHER: THE INCORRIGIBLE PAGAN (CONTINUED).

One of the most painful days of my life occurred when I was about 13 years of age. My father and his wife were both in the City of Bristol. Although they lived in the borough of Slough, one of the suburbs of London, they came to Bristol periodically to do people’s hair. At the time, Blacks had not yet begun a serious exploration of their own cultural and racial roots. Therefore, the rage in England among West Indian Blacks was to get their hair straightened. Presumably, to look more like British Caucasians. This trend had started among Blacks living in the USA. At that time, my father and his wife were professional cosmetologists. When they traveled to my part of the country, they did so to make a financial killing. Because they had a large clientele. They traveled to other parts of the country populated by similar racial groups to do likewise.

My father owned a black poodle. I’ve often wondered why? Concluding that he was just another insecure simpleton. Desperately attempting to look ‘white’ by suddenly adopting one of the cultural norms of a British Caucasian aristocrat. I had seen this behavior before among my friends from the country that used to be known as Persia (Iran). Some were suddenly smoking pipes, wearing a hat, and walking with a polished cane the same length as an umbrella. By doing so, they desperately tried to fit in a foreign country to conceal their true identity. It was, nevertheless, an exercise in futility because everything they did was so transparent.

One morning, I was on my way to school. I had heard a great deal about this short, brown-skinned man. I was told that he was my father. But for some strange reason, we never had any meaningful interpersonal relationship. He came to my house frequently enough. But he never acknowledged me. He took me nowhere with him; he gave me nothing and never spent time with me. I usually exited through the back door when leaving home for school, and that morning was no different. I passed through the dining room, and there he was, cuddling and feeding his black poodle with baked chicken. I paused briefly and looked at this stranger, intending to announce my departure. Hoping beyond hope that he would acknowledge me by giving me something. Even if it was only a kind word or a hug. I looked at him and calmly stated, “I’m leaving now.” He looked at me briefly with disgust. Resenting the fact that I would dare to expect anything from him. It’s hard to describe the grunt that emanated from his throat. But, against every nerve in his inner being, he said, “Humph,” and threw me what would amount to US$0.25 today. I was mortified, and in humiliation and shame, I picked up the coin from the top of the dining table and left.

Another painful experience was when his wife made me a promise that she failed to keep. She promised me a watch and said she would send my grandmother the money to purchase the present. Typical of a naive child, I believed her and embraced the promise, not knowing then that, as the saying goes, “A promise is a comfort to a fool.” Children, however, give adults a clean slate of unconditional trust until you prove to them that you are unworthy of their confidence. I waited patiently and repeatedly in vain. The days turned to weeks, and the weeks evaporated into months and years. As time progressed, my hopes for the long-awaited watch were gradually transformed into a profound and deep disappointment. More than sixty years later, the promised watch has failed to materialize. My father’s second wife repeatedly complained bitterly about his conduct. Still, now that I reflect upon their behavioral patterns, it’s obvious that “Birds of a feather flock together.” Both of them exhibited behavior of emotional callousness.

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By Parameciumcaudatum

I've worked as a clergyman, clinical psychologist, and building contractor. I write for leisure. Presently I reside in one of Ghana's most rural suburbs, although I visit the U.S.A. frequently.

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